My Knight in Shining Spandex
by Marshie12
Summary: My name is Morgan. I basically love my life. I like shopping, sleeping and stealing my best friend's notes from all the lectures I miss. Oh and torturing Kade! Did I forget to mention that? A Fractured take on Emma in college.
1. When Morgan Met Kade

_Alright. I know what you're thinking. Why am I starting yet another story when I have… (What is it now?) four others already in progress?_

_Because I can bitches!!! Muhahaha. Ok. I'm done being maniacal. The stress is getting to me. The thing is… I wanted to write this… and so I am. I'm putting "Love to the Tune of a Country Song" and "Don't Panic" oh hold. (You may have noticed my lack of updates…) I'm finishing "Abbreviated and Un-fabricated" THIS week and I'm going to really work on "Former Child Star." OK so, maybe I'm a bit crazy, but I'm also impulsive and have the impulse to write this. Football season always makes me want to write a new story._

_So here it is: A fractured tale of "Emma" and a few tears shed for a lack of Brady Quinn in ND football. _

_PS Kaden is inspired by Riley Skinner. Riley Skinner grew up in my hometown, but attended the preppy private school counterpart of my own high school… (As did Timmy Tebow, but he played at Nease… our rival school) and so we never met. He's a god around here, especially at Bolles (where he went to school). Anyway he just happens to also be the heir to a dairy franchise around here and is worth millions of dollars. He now plays starting QB for Wake Forest and is… very cute. Kade is Riley… meets Timmy… with a little bit of Brady Quinn thrown in for good luck. Basically that means he kicks ass. _

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_**My Knight in Shining Spandex**_

_When Morgan Met Kaden_

When I was three years old I had a dog. His name was Wally and he was wiener dog. I loved him like the sibling I never had. I made my father tote him around with us everywhere we went. I would make Nanny sew him clothes and I'd dress him up. But Wally had been in the family for quite awhile and he was beginning to get old. By the time I was four, Wally had gone to doggy-heaven.

To take the place of my beloved wiener dog, I befriended Kaden Wright.

Kaden was a quiet little boy in my daycare. He had really long eyelashes. I don't really remember his eyelashes, but he still has those really long eyelashes and so I assume they always existed. Whenever I picture Kade as a child, all I think of are those eyelashes. Whenever I see old pictures of us as children, all I see are Kade's eyelashes.

Ok. Enough about Kade's eyelashes. This is only partially a story about Kade's eyelashes. There's more to it than that… Although I still like to blame those damn long, beautiful eyelashes.

Arg. Why on earth can't I stop talking about Kade's eyelashes? To be honest, I'm so used to those damn eyelashes that I hardly even see them anymore. Ok. That's a lie. I always see those eyelashes. They're beautiful eyelashes. Oh, if Kade heard me waxing on about his eyelashes, he'd probably laugh at me for an entire week.

Moving on. Wally died; I was sad; I befriended Kade with the beautiful eyelashes. I took Kade and made him into my new Wally. Wherever Dad and I went around town, I made sure that Kade went as well. When Kade went through his "girls have cooties" phase I gave him a cootie shot and made him a promise that I'd never ever try to kiss him, and we stayed friends. When I went through my "boys are so cute" phase, Kade would run away from me on the playground and, once again, I promised to never kiss him, and we stayed friends. When Kade went through his "girls have breasts, and I'd like to see them" phase, I bought a good sports bra, and we stayed friends. When I went through my "like ohmigod we're like in High School" phase, Kade slapped me on the cheek and told me to never say the word "like" again, and we stayed friends. When Kade went through his "I'm so cool because I play football, Big Man on Campus" phase, I slapped him (partially for payback about him slapping me back in Freshman year) and told him if he ever started dating a cheerleader, I'd never speak to him again, and we stayed cheerleader-less friends.

And that's how it went. Kade was an even better friend than Wally, because Kade never died. Although, Wally was much softer and cuddlier; Kade had way too much muscle and we were never those weirdly touchy friends that cuddled in a strictly platonic way. We always made sure to keep our grade school promises and never kissed. In fact, we never even thought about kissing. We made it all the way through high school and still managed to maintain our friendship, just like we were in day care again. I got accepted to the University of Florida and let the idea of a Bright Futures, full scholarship sway me out of my out-of-state college dreams. Kade got offers for football scholarships to basically every school in the country. We both ended up in Gainsville, Florida: Home of the Gators.

And that's where we are now: The University of Florida in our final year of school. I don't know what will happen to us after this, but I've been friends with Kaden Wright since I was four years old, I wouldn't let a little thing like "the real world" stop that.

_Kaden went pro and Morgan jumped off the deep end… and they stayed friends? _God. I can only hope.

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_Thoughts? Please! Please have thoughts! I'm suffering from review withdrawal._


	2. Butter in the Palm of My Hand

_Random story of the day: At my school we have something called the "Seventh Period Sprint". You see my school is loacted in the middle of the woods, but was moronically designed with only one exit. So if you don't get out within the first five minutes, you're waiting there for fourty-five minutes. Hence the seventh perion sprint to your car to beat the rest. Now My school also is a second story school. Every single class except for maybe two is on the second story. I was duing the customary car-sprint and I fell down the stairs. It hurts rather badly. I skinned my toes... and I was wearing a dress. Embarrassed._

_Ok. First chapter! Woo! _

_"It you're feeling sad and lonely/ there's a service I can render/ Just review me/ Don't be afraid to just- leave a review/ Leave a review/ And I'll update fas-ter." _

_...It's supposed to be a song..._

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**_My Knight in Shining Spandex _**

Butter in the Palm of My Hand

"Kade!" I screamed across the house as I fell heavily onto the sofa, my shopping bags from the day spread out across the living room. "Will you bring me a soda?" I asked, still screaming across the house. I pulled my legs up onto the sofa and put a pillow under my head, ready to snuggle in for a mid-afternoon nap.

"No," I heard Kade's voice shout back at me from across the house. I could tell that he was upstairs, most likely in his room or the office. He definitely wasn't in the kitchen. I momentarily contemplated getting up to get my own soda! Ahg. What a ridiculous thought! That just shows exactly how tired I was: I was becoming delusional.

"Please!" I whined, still shouting. "Kay-ade!" I said stressing his name. "I'm so tired!"

About forty-five seconds later I had a soda in my hand. "Thanks Kade. You're the best friend a girl could ask for," I said with a smile as Kade pushed my feet off the sofa and sat down, shaking his head at me while he flipped on the TV to ESPN. This is the absolute worst thing about rooming with two guys that play football: The house is always blasting ESPN at full volume. "Kay-ade! Turn it off. I have a headache!"

Kade rubbed his temples. "_You_ have a headache?"

I ignored his pointed obnoxiousness. "Yes I have a headache. I spent the whole day with the Couple from Icky."

"The 'Couple from Icky'?" he asked in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Jules and Brant," I shot back. "They were going at it in the living room again this morning! I had to seek refuge in the mall just to get away from their disgusting slurppy noises."

"Oh, you poor baby," he drawled sarcastically. Kade was always mocking me. I hated it, so kicked him, attempting to extricate him from my napping sofa, but Kade is big and buff and impossible to move. Stupid football. I miss wimpy little Kade that cried in fourth grade when I (accidentally) pushed him off the swing-set. "How _ever_ did you survive?" he continued to mock, hardly even noticing that I was kicking him with all my might. I, once again, cursed the effects of football under my breath.

"Kade! Stop making fun of me!" I cried in anguish, still struggling with my frantic kicking. Eventually I got tired and stopped. Man! All that kicking is tiring. "You're the worst friend ever!"

Kade merely turned up the volume. Seriously, who needs to listen to Mike Ditka at full volume?

"Kay-ade!"

He turned it back down. Hah. Sucker. People say that Kade is stubborn, but once you know the right buttons to push, he'll bend to your every whim. And I have lots of whims.

"Anyway," I continued as soon as he tuned the volume back down. "Brant and Jules are really getting out of hand. Sometimes I regret my scheme to get them together in the first place."

"_Your_ plan to get them together?" Kade shook his head slowly in pity, but still kept the majority of his concentration on Ditka. God, who can watch Ditka anyway? He's so damn old! Shouldn't he be dead yet? "Morgan, you have officially surpassed delusional."

"Oh Ha. Ha," I mock laughed. Kade thinks he's funny, but the rest of the world would beg to differ. "You know I'm right. If it weren't for my interference Jules and Brant would have never gotten together."

"And the school might have stood a chance at keeping down their lunch." See? I told you. He thinks he's funny and no matter how many times I try to tell him, he just won't listen. He's such a stubborn ass. "Mo, I assure you, your influence had absolutely no effect on Jules and Brant. If anything it made things more difficult."

"Difficult?" I echoed in pure shock. Oh that loathsome little cockroach. "Kade! _I_ was the one that introduced them!"

"What?" This time it was Kade who echoed back in shock. "Jules was your best friend and Brant was mine. I assure you, their meeting was inevitable and as I recall completely accidental."

Ugh. Sometimes I hate him. Aren't football players supposed to be stupid? Aren't they supposed to have the IQ of a pebble and ride through life on their "skills" and be paid obscene amounts of money to contribute absolutely nothing to society? Stupid Kade! Why does he always have to be the exception? And why, oh why, must he have such a good memory?

"No Kade. It was me!" I protested. Kade was nice enough to let me maintain my delusions and a sliver of my pride. I kicked him anyway, just for good measure. Yet again, he didn't notice.

"Whatever. Fine. It was you. I don't really have the energy to argue with you and I have practice in half an hour." He finally got off my prime napping sofa and grabbed the giant bag that he already had set out by the door to our house. "Just promise me one thing, will you?"

"What?" I asked curiously, opening one eye to stare at him as he stood in the open doorway, momentarily delaying my nap.

"Promise me you'll never _ever_ interfere with _my_ love life," he replied with a grin.

I threw my shoe at him, but I was too late. He'd already left and my shoe merely hit the door with a loud bang and fell sadly to the floor. I hoped I hadn't broken it.

Oh stupid Kade! He thinks he's so smart.


	3. That Soft, Squishy Feeling

_**My Knight in Shining Spandex**_

_That soft, squishy feeling_

_Oh!_

I just love the feel of my toes. Oh no, it's not some sort of weird foot fetish that I have. I just happen to have very silky feet.

"Oh that's nice Mindy," I sighed as I leaned back in my comfy chair. "You're a miracle." Mindy's my pedicurist. She's… well she's a miracle. I've been seeing her every Wednesday since my freshman year.

"So did you hear that Erica Ward's getting back from Africa next month?"

I scowled as I stared at my cutesy pink toes, and frowned at what Jules had just said. Now why would she go and ruin a perfectly good pedicure with mentions of Erica Ward. It's not that I don't like Erica Ward. She's just my biggest rival. If we were Florida schools, she'd be FSU and I'd be UF. If we were superheroes, I'd be Dr. Jekyll and she'd be Mr. Hyde. Are they considered superheroes?

"Hmm," I sighed, still scowling at my pink toenails. You see, Erica is not only the president of my sorority, she just happens to also be really good friends with Kaden. It's not that Kaden can only have one girlfriend- … I mean girl _friend_. (Must not forget the space.) Erica Ward is not Kade's girlfriend. They're just friends. Good friends. But… not as good of friends as me and Kade.

"What do you think she's thinking?" Brant asked as he studied me over his People Magazine. Don't tell a soul but one time Jules and I convinced Brant to come get a pedicure with us… to help with his disgusting calluses, and ever since he's been a part of our weekly routine. He's very secretive about the whole thing. He says that if any of the guys on the football team, including Kade, finds out, he'll probably be kicked off the team. We, as in Jules, Mindy and I, think he's being dramatic.

"Probably calculating the amount of time after Erica's arrival, before she ends up dating Kade," Jules whispered audibly to her boyfriend.

"That's not what I'm thinking!" I protested, even though… okay so yes it _was_ what I was thinking. But let's face it, there is only room for one girl friend in Kaden's life and that's me… so does that make Erica his girlfriend? "I was thinking about what shoes I should wear tonight to match my new color." I wiggled my toes again and Mindy growled in frustration as I smudged my baby toe.

"Right," Brant drawled sarcastically. "And Brad and Angelina will be together forever."

"Let's not be naïve, Mo," Jules finished as Brant turned over his magazine so we could see the spread announcing the pending demise of Brangelina.

"I leaned back into my chair and let my head loll over the backrest. Thinking about Erica Ward, resident martyr, returning from her mission trip to Africa was just about the last thing I would ever want to do. Especially during my pedicure.

I didn't hate her because she was rude, or obnoxious, or some sort of promiscuous creature. I hated her because she wasn't. She was so holy and pretty and everyone thought she was just so great.

Well I'm not so easily convinced.

"You're jealous," Brant sang from behind his magazine.

"Why would I be jealous of Erica Ward?" I snapped. See? This was really getting to me. I never snap. I jest and get angry but I'm not one of those girls that gets all riled up.

Jules spoke without hesitation. "Because she's gorgeous. She beat you out for Kappa Kappa Gamma President. Because people really like her. And because you're scared to death that she might start dating Kaden."

"I am not scared-"

"Plus she just spent her entire summer saving AIDS infected children in Africa," Brant added, his voice floating up from behind his magazine.

It was quiet for a long time, only the sound of our three pedicurists, working away on our disgusting feet, met our ears and the rippling of the pages of Brant's magazine as he flipped through it. Jules and I just kind of stared at each other.

"Jules," I said eventually, in a small voice. "Is she really prettier than me?"

Jules smiled slightly, but in an accidentally condescending manner. "No sweetheart."

I puffed out all the extra air in my lungs, purging myself of thoughts that I decided weren't really necessary. It was quiet for a really long time… yet again. I sat there and watched the six-foot 6-inch, 220 pound, Brant sitting in his pink pedicure chair as he flipped through his trashy tabloid. He really was quite a sight. Maybe I should take picture. They'd be great bribery for later years.

"Do you think that I'm cuter than Jude Law?" Brant suddenly asked, peering over the top of his magazine.

"Brant!" I cried.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, setting down his magazine on his lap. "Because I might not have the accent, but I'd like to think I have a pretty cute butt."

"It could be worse, Mo. Your boyfriend could be gay," Jules said as she smiled and examined her freshly painted nails.

"He just needs attention." I patted Brant on the head like I was petting a dog. "Yes Brant, you have a very cute butt, but I'm afraid that you don't compare to Jude Law… especially not when he lets his hair get all curly."

Brant coughed, but it sounded fairly close to the word "Kade."

I stopped patting Brant on the head and flicked him on the nose. "Your compliment has been revoked."

* * *

_I'm sorry this took an entire week to get up, but good news: I finished my college applications! Woo-hoo! Ok... technically I still have one more essay to write for my UF application, but I DONT WANNA! I've written too many. Plus, my mother is the only reason I'm applying to Florida. I don't even want to go._

_Ok. I have to work early tomorrow so I'm going to bed... or I'm going to finish watching stupid Florida come amzingly close (if not succeeding) to loosing to Auburn. Stupid UF..._

_I wish I had more time. I wish I didn't have school, and work, and clubs, and college, and my football obsession, and my social obligations, and my short attention span to preoccupy me so I could sit around and write things for you guys all the time. Maybe someday..._

_In other words... I GOT PUBLISHED! It's just a piece of flash fiction and it's only in a local literary magazine, but still... IT ROCKS! Maybe I'll let you guys read it sometime..._


	4. About Last Night

_Whew. It's been awhile since I've done much updating. My new promise: I will update at least one story a week. I won't make any garunteesa bout which story will be updated, but I'll post at least one chapter in one of my six stories._

_Please don't get bored with me. I know I must be driving some of you crazy with my inability to update chapters but my ability to start new stories. I'm sorry! No more stories... I promise._

_Ok. This is a kind of iffy chapter. I don't really like it but it something that I needed to happen and so I kind of needed it. Think of it as a day in the life of a college kid. Eh. It's definately not one of my favorites. In the next one though, we'll get to meet my Harriett and Jane Fairfax. I like both of them so I can't wait for that._

_**My Knight in Shining Spandex**_

_About last night…_

Every weekend is basically the same as the last. At least during the fall.

On Friday I have a bio lab until five. I come back to the house and Jules and I watch whatever movie seems to strike our fancy. Kade and Brant make fun of us as we blubber on and on about the male lead in whatever movie we just watched. Then Jules and I spend about two hours getting dressed to go out. Normally we pre-game at our house with a couple of other friends while Kade and Brant sulk and get all moody and tense about whatever game happens to be the next day.

After we are sufficiently drunk we go to the bars. Kade and Brant drive, since neither would ever think about drinking the day before a game. Eventually, they both get fed up with us and our drunken antics and force us into the car and back to the house. If we have an away game, Jules and I do this entire thing without the company of the two whiniest football players of all time.

Every Saturday we wake up with sufficient headaches and bruises in weird places from doing god-knows-what the night before. We drink lots of water and take lots of Advil. Then we dress in tiny little sundress and anything else we can find that has the colors orange, blue, or green. We don't just wear t-shirts. This isn't that kind of school. If it's a home game we hit up the tailgates on University Street and, due to a little thing called the Shampoo Effect, end up just as wasted as the night before within the first five minutes. As two of the lucky few with student seats we eventually drunkenly wander into the stadium with the assistance of whatever friend of ours takes pity on us. And that's the extent of the day that we actually remember. We wake up, normally on the sofa, Sunday morning and spend the entire day untagging all the embarrassing photos of us that people have posted on Facebook while Brant and Kade explain to us the stories behind each and every bruise and an all too in-depth play-by-play of the game we don't remember.

If it's an away game, we usually veg-out on the sofa and watch the game then go out to the bars afterward. I have to put up with Jules's worries about every little hit that Brant takes from the game. It isn't nearly as exciting. We like to travel to a lot of the away games.

But luckily, today just happened to be a home game. I rolled out of my bed, true to form, and groaned searching blindly on my bed stand for the water bottle that Kade always leaves out for me after a tough night. Eventually I located it and, with my eyes still squeezed shut I chugged it down. It wasn't as cold as usual. That meant that I'd slept later than I was supposed to.

There was the slow thump of someone wandering down the hallway and twenty seconds later Jules swung open my door with a groan and wandered over to my bed. She held two water bottles. We both drank one in utter silence.

"I don't remember a single thing from last night," she whispered as she tossed her bottle aside and curled up under my comforter. She was freezing cold and I made sure she didn't touch me. I was nice and toasty.

"I think I remember dancing with Brian," I sighed, my face screwed up in concentration. I had the oddest recurring image of Brian Hams, the leading tackle, and I dancing before Kade came in and carried me out of the bar. That seemed impossible. Why would Kade's face have been as angry as I remembered it? It just didn't make sense.

"Ah," Jules face lit up as if a realization. She winced. Must have been a painful realization… "I think I remember that. Brian Hams, eh?"

I screwed up my face again, trying to remember the details. This wasn't the first time Brian had showed up in one of my vague memories. It seems as though anytime I'm drunk and vulnerable he seems to show up. Interesting. Kade still seemed very angry in my memory. I wonder why…?

"Should we get dressed?" Jules asked softly as she studied my confused expression. "We've probably missed most of the good tailgating, but if we get moving we can probably get a couple of beers."

I sighed. "Ugh. I hate early games. We need more prime-time games."

Jules rolled me over. "Get up sleepy head. Kade would be very angry if you missed his game."

I didn't understand. Jules had been kidding about Kade being angry; Kade never got angry about anything. My vague memory flashed to mind again. Why was Kade angry? Kade was never angry. It really didn't make sense.

"Can I wear your orange polo dress?" I asked as she ripped my quilt off me.

Jules thought about it momentarily. "Only if I can wear your polka-dot one."

"It's too short on you," I pointed out.

Jules smiled wickedly. "That's why I like it!" She rushed out of my room and came back moments later with the polo dress. I loved that dress. What Jules didn't know was that after today I had absolutely no intentions of giving it back.

Jules tossed the dress to me and I rolled out of bed to put it on while she skimmed through my closet for the polka-dot dress. She pulled it out and pressed it against her. "Hot, right?"

I nodded and smiled lightly. If only Brant knew the things his girlfriend did when he wasn't around. Nothing bad! She just… she's quite the exhibitionist.

Jules scowled and whipped the dress at me. "Yo babe? What's wrong with you? Are you going to be sick?"

I shook my head. "No, I just keep having this nagging memory. You don't think I did something stupid last night, do you?"

Jules shrugged. She obviously had fewer memories than I. "Would it have been a successful night if you hadn't?"

I rolled my eyes. Uh-oh. I rushed to the bathroom and curled myself around the toilet. I suddenly felt very, very sick.

It didn't matter what had happened last night, it was obviously and quite literally out of my system now. I sat down on my tile bathroom floor as looked at Jules who stood worriedly in my doorway. I smiled. I didn't have to think about it now. It was done, and since I'd just flushed the toilet, gone. I stood up and began to rinse my mouth in the sink.

"I feel much better now."


End file.
